Post by Glorfindel on Jan 28, 2009 11:23:50 GMT -5
Well, after looking at it again, it does not seem that much shorter, maybe a minute and a half. Still it flows okay and it keeps the viewers focused on fewer things. The main characters mentioned are Finwe, Feanor, Iluvatar, and Melkor. I thought about mentioning the other Valar but that leads down a "long" road. The other major players get introduced well enough later on...I think.
Last Edit: Jan 28, 2009 11:24:41 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
Well, I partially agree, but not fully. Truthfully I like the condensed version as far as dialog goes and it actually is a prologue. This type of film almost requires a prologue. But I disagree with it being a tapestry. These still shots on the tapestry that you are proposing could actually be action shots. I guess I'm just partial to FoTR and if you haven't seen it you may want to watch the movie Equilibrium, it has a really long prologue, but actually plays on your idea of viewing the tapestry except it is showing action scenes on a large video screen. I could be wrong, but I think we need to have some action going on while the narrative is being spoken to hold the audiences attention. But again to get back to the shortened version, I really think less is more in this case because with the Silmarillion you could do a whole movie just explaining what needs to be explained in order to watch the movie. I think you have done an excellent job of keeping it short and to the point and hitting the necessary highlights. I approve. I'll make some changes in a few days that I have in mind and see what you think. I'll try to take a stab at it this weekend provided I have the time.
You're cool. No one noticed and no one would have even known save you have now informed us. Sorry I've been out job hunting all day and it appears it's just Frodo (you) and Sam (I) on this leg of the journey. Your Sam is just very, very busy right now, but at least I'm checking in which is better than in the past. I've looked over your outline, but it's late and I'm very tired from looking for a job all day, so I'm not mentally alert enough to give you a proper response save just to assure that I have read it. I'll be in touch, tomorrow is going to be hectic, I have a million things to do all day and and evening and Sunday is the Superbowl. I intend on watching it, but honestly, I really could careless about either one of the teams. I guess I kind of hope the Cardinals win just because it is my understanding that they have never won a Superbowl and the Steelers have won before. Leave it to me to root for the underdog. But I am here, I have not abandoned you! If by my life or by my death I can help you.......you have my bow......and my ax.....if this is the council's will then Gondor will see it done.
No problem Sam. I know that I cannot keep you out of a "secret" council meeting. I hope that your job search went well and I pray that you will get gainfully employment soon. Take your time and respond whenever you get the chance. I will start posting the scene outlines this week. I actually started to post the prologue and first scene outlines on Friday but the silmfilm.proboards25 gave me a funky error when I tried to preview it and deleted the post. I will try again today. I watched the Super-bowl and it was quite good. I was going for the Cards since they were the underdogs and I liked the Kurt Warner come-back story angle. Still, nice game over all despite Pitt winning (I liked Pitt during the season but 6 Super-bowl wins :. Anyway. back to the journey and I'll talk to you later.
Last Edit: Jan 26, 2010 13:46:33 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
Post by Glorfindel on Jan 26, 2010 14:36:09 GMT -5
I'm taking a hard look at the script as I prep for the story boards. Looking at the rough drafts of previous boards that I have done, and running the script through my head as I view them, makes me even more aware of the pacing and flow. I think that the only way to really do this right, is to limit the information given and only plug in the most imported facts. The book is a history without much dialog. If you add dialog and then try to cram every last detail in, it ends up feeling bloated and slow. I'm going to cut as much as I can without leaving someone lost who has never read the book. I am a Silmarillion/Arda/Middle-earth/Tolkien fanboy, but to present a proper film, you have to adjust to the medium. I will leave the details for the book and extended histories of Middle-earth inform those who fall in love with the ideas and ideals presented in the movie.
I'm aiming for 135 to 150 minutes (2hr15min to 2hr30min). There is enough material to do 3 hours easy, but the pacing may suffer and you may loose people that are not aware of the material already. I want this to be good and motivating, not just a power point with gobs of info. This is the hook for all the rest. If done well, people will buy/check out the book to get the additional info (and then probably complain that it is not in the movie ;D)
A lot of what I'm saying has been said before and mulled out in past posts. I'm just doing a rehash if for no other reason but to help my mental focus. So, I'll be slicing and dicing fairly soon my silent brethren. ;D
I've gone through the prologue, and I'll go through it once more before I post it. It's not pleasant experience, removing lines that I like, but I want a leaner prologue. I might do the story boards for the final cut, and then post them together. I'll shoot to get it done by Sunday at the latest.
Well, I blew past my posting deadline. I do have the prologue done. The family read over it and actually liked it. Time for the boards has been cut short. I really hope to have them done in a couple of days if nothing comes up.
Again, fell free to post comments now or forever hold your peace. I don't attend to go back and redo anything once it's been posted here for a week or two. No one really commented on the templates (execpt for HV and tamitha I think) which is no big deal, but I don't plan to rethink them now. They have been posted from two weeks to two months, and if you couldn't find the time to post in all that time, you never will (IMHO). I'm moving forward.
Last Edit: Feb 6, 2010 10:37:30 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
The story boards will be sketches, more or less, of important shots of each scene (and prologue). I will try to make them as professional and industry standard as possible. In addition to that, once completed (the whole script) I hope to go back and do a concept art picture for each major scene. The concept pictures will be in more detail than the story board and may have color in them.
Once that is completed, I'll work on music and sound effects. If no one has joined in to help by then, I'll continue with the dialog being done by one of the reading programs that "speaks" the text. I would then integrate the story boards, art, music, sound/visual effects and the voice, into a slide show. I'll record and convert it to be sent to the silmfilm members that assisted in the process, and then post on the web briefly (would be forced to take it down quickly no doubt).
That's the plan folks.
Last Edit: Feb 6, 2010 10:53:38 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 12, 2010 16:04:28 GMT -5
I hope to have the corresponding story boards up after I scan them this weekend. This is the Final Version of the prologue. If you see grammatical or spelling mistakes, let me know.
Open to a BLACK SCREEN CONT'D
SUPER TITLE FADE: SILMFILM PRESENTS
SUPER TITLE FADE: A SILMARILLION FILM PROJECT PRODUCTION
BLACK SCREEN CONT'D
GALADRIEL (Off Screen Voice) Many things have been regarded as wonders of the world, but none could match the Silmarils that were made in a time now ancient. These holy jewels were above all other creations of the elder days, and far beyond the skills of all...save one.
SUPER TITLE FADE: THE SILMARILLION: The Fall of the Noldor
DISSOLVE: EXT: STARRY NIGHT - CLUSTER OF BRIGHT STARS.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Great and terrible deeds surrounded the Silmarils in the forgotten past, long before the Rings of Power. For what started in joy, turned to woe and tears unnumbered. I know, for I was there when doom fell on the Noldor.
ZOOM OUT SLOW: Pulling away from the cluster of stars. DISSOLVE: Fëanor is working seated at a table, while Finwë stands and observes him.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) The Noldorian elf named Fëanor, had in him a spirit more fiery than has ever been known among the elves. He was the son of King Finwë and in craft he had no rival. It was he who made the precious Silmarils that were both magnificent and pure.
ISOLATE: three sparkling objects that are rotating around the center of the night sky
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Obsession over the gems caused some to lust greedily for them in their hearts. The 'Black Enemy' was chief among those who's ambition to possess them, sullied the joy they were intended to bring. His ancient name was Melkor, and he hated Fëanor because of the gems. He was of old strong and cunning. He attempted to force his will on others even before the world was created...from the beginning.
TRANSITION: Burning set of "eyes" in the darkness.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Before all else, the elves call Eru, the One, and in him all that is originated. He is Iluvatar, the father of all, and from his thoughts came forth the Valar, the powers of the world.
FADE IN: A great white light with smaller lights spiraling out from it, shaded with color. The white light starts to take a humanoid shape. Small lights continue to spiral out from its head, shaded with color. They pulsate and orbit the white humanoid shape.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Eru set forth a theme and bid them to sing the song of creation, but Melkor wove in discord. He desired his own ambitions would rule the song. At last Eru's mastery overtook all that Melkor attempted, commandeering Melkor’s notes for his own themes and the world, Arda, was created.
LONG SHOT: Sound waves blend together and then a big pulse of light washes out all of the waves. The bright figure leads the lights to an image of the world.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Eru revealed Arda, the world created by the song, where he would bring forth his children, elves and men. The powers of the world, came to dwell in Arda to prepare it before the awakening his children.
FADE IN: Primordial earth at night with storms. Meteors impact, lightning strikes and bright clouds descend to the ground are shown. Forms, like Eru but smaller, rise from the strikes and impacts.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Melkor continued to rebel against the will of Iluvatar. He marred the land with such cruelty that the Valar decided to take refuge from him in Aman, far across the great sea. Soon after Iluvatar awoke the elves; they were invited by the Valar to the Blessed Realm, away from Melkor who had struck terror in the elves hearts.
CUT TO: Dark beasts attacking the elves in the woods of Middle-earth. A bright rider kills the beasts and then rides up on a beautiful horse to talk to three elf leaders.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Melkor's efforts to hinder the elves' journey through Middle-earth posed a threat too great to go unchallenged. The Valar rose up to battle and Melkor's army was defeated. He was bound with a great chain and lead away to be held in the Halls of Waiting for three ages.
FADE IN: Melkor face down and a strong figure locking a great chain about him.
GALADRIEL (O.S.V.) Melkor begged pardon from the other Valar after his sentence was served, and so he was released, although there were some who were not pleased by his freedom.
CUT TO: The Ring of Doom with Melkor getting off of his knees in front of Manwe and coming forward toward the camera with reddish “bright eyes”.
ANGLE ON: Close up of Melkor’s face with “bright eyes” that transition/fade to the two trees
Last Edit: Feb 19, 2010 20:38:09 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 19, 2010 20:43:51 GMT -5
Cool HV, I made the change. Thanks HV for your help.
I'm dropping two scenes and revamping the Feanor and Finwe scene. I hope to have the "Father and Son" scene up by the end of next week with the story boards to the prologue. Have a good weekend to all.
Looking through my notes, outlines, and scene list recently made me a little sad. Why? Because I now know that a lot of it will not make it to the "Final" edited version of the FOTN script. There are over forty scenes right now, and I believe that is at least seven to many.
By cutting five to ten scenes, I hope to improve the pacing and keep the viewers more engaged for the entire film. The original script will always be around for you (collective) and I to play around with and maybe do as an "extended version" once we can get the leaner film accomplished.
Also, a shorten script/film will mean less work on story boards, music, animation and speed up the completion time. Please bare with me as the process continues.
Last Edit: Mar 8, 2010 10:28:55 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
Final Version of Scene 1. If you see grammatical or spelling mistakes, let me know.
Scene 1 - Fëanor and Finwë at the Trees
DISSOLVE: EXT: OUTSKITS OF THE CITY OF VALMAR (CITY OF THE VALAR) - LONG SHOT: THE TWO TREES - TREES EMINANT LIGHT
TRANSITION: Melkor’s eyes to the setting of the two trees on the green mound. MED. SHOT: Fëanor stands on a path about 500 meters from the trees. As he looks at the trees, his father approaches and stands next to him.
Finwë: (to Fëanor) Fëanor, what a pleasant surprised to see you here.
Fëanor: (to Finwë) Did I surprise you father? Truly the most surprising thing here is the wonderment of Telperion and Laurelin.
Finwë: (turns towards Fëanor) Even after all the long ages, their splendor is still beyond what many words can tell, but it would also be wonderment to have you come visit my table. It has been long since you were last there, and I have missed your presence.
Fëanor: (to Finwë but looking at the trees) I was drawn here as I pasted on my way for supplies; they seemed to have...called to me. So mesmerizing, I can only imagine how it must have been for you when you first saw them.
Finwë: (turns back to trees) Well said, they were equally mesmerizing then as they are now…glorious. Of all the things I witnessed when I was invited here as an ambassador, the vision of their beauty was everlasting in my mind. They inspired me to persevere through long years on the difficult road back to Aman.
Fëanor: (turns to Finwë) Although all here is fair, they are one of the few things that still truley impress me in Aman . I would say, for them alone, it was worth the hardship of your journey.
Finwë: (to Fëanor) Indeed, their blessed light was worth the cost, even with the enemy railing against our coming. I lead my portion of the host here with loss on the long road, for some that set out on that journey never came to the Blessed Realm; but then, there also has been loss here in Aman.
MED SHOT: Finwë turns and stares over the plains in the distance, taking a step in that direction
Fëanor: (placing his hand on Finwë’s shoulder) Father, are you alright?
Finwë: (pauses, turns to Fëanor) Yes Fëanor, I am fine.
Fëanor: (to Finwë, earnestly) You have born many burdens and it is not my wish to add to them. I know that my endeavors have kept me away from you, but I can feel it in my spirit that I am near something great. I just want to forge something of great importance and beauty, as Yavanna did when she created these trees. Soon I will create something that will bless you and renew your pride in me.
Finwë: (to Fëanor, concern, sad) Fëanor, I am very proud of you, and you have already created works of wonder that you should be proud of too. Worry? I try not to be...yet I remain concerned. In the house of Finwë there is division. You barely speak to your brothers; seemingly always at odds with them. I believe that this tension may have spilled over to affect your own house, and I now ponder my past decisions…maybe I did you a great disservice and have caused such things to be.
Fëanor: (to Finwë, compassion) Do not question your heart or your choices father. You have always been near to me in my dire need. Although I have not warmly greeted your every decision…I am your son; in name and with great deeds, I will honor you King Finwë. As for my family, my wife Nerdanel and my sons are…
Finwë: (Fëanor, interrupting) Curufinwë, you have achieved much, and I know you will go on to do even more exceedingly marvelous works. I will trust you to make the mastering of your own home one of them.
Fëanor: (to Finwë, serious) Yes father. It will be so.
Finwë: (to Fëanor, slight smile) I must go, but I would like to see you at the upcoming celebration. I know that Nerdanel must have mentioned it to you by now?
Fëanor: (to Finwë, bothered) Yes, she has delivered the invitation some time ago.
Finwë: (to Fëanor) Very good. It has been long since we marked the time in which the Noldor arrived here in Aman. I am hoping that more than just Noldor will attend and I have asked if Lord Aulë would...
Fëanor: (to Finwë, interrupting) Lord Aulë? I saw him coming from the Mahanaxar hours ago looking grave with Lord Orome along side of him. There was also a third Valar with them…very tall and powerful in appearance…perhaps Lord Ulmo? Do you know for what the gathering was about father?
Finwë: (puzzled) Lord Ulmo was here...The Ring of Doom? Strange…I have heard rumor, but I did not think much of it until now. I must be off. Farewell Fëanor.
Fëanor: (to Finwë) Peaceful journey and farewell to you father.
CUT TO: LONG SHOT: Fëanor holds his hand out to his father then he lowers it and turns back to look at the trees
FADE TO BLACK:
Last Edit: Mar 15, 2010 8:14:56 GMT -5 by Glorfindel