- King Finwe discovers Feanor near the two trees of Valinor. Finwe wants to talk about family but Feanor skillfully changes the subject. Finwe reflects on the trees and cannot imagine a world without them. Foreshadowing about the Silmarls is presented along with pondering about the affairs of the Valar.
<|> Feanor states that he would like to craft something extra ordinary as Yavanna did when she created the trees<|>
*Change* Finwe wants to be more direct about Feanor dealing rightly with his brothers but he softens as Feanor pushes back and changes the subject.
"BEATS" 1. Finwe is surprised the see Feanor 2. Feanor pushes back and focuses on the trees 3. Finwe talks about the trees 4. Feanor talks about crafting 5. Finwe talks about the planned celebration 6. Feanor changes the subject again and talks about the Valar 7. Finwe ponders the activities of the Valar
Total pages: approx 6
Last Edit: Feb 3, 2009 9:27:33 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
- Melkor is brought through the splendor of the elves in Valinor to the Ring of Doom. The Valar debate his release. Melkor is unchained when the debate is over although some Valar still have issues with the decision.
<|> The appeal by Yavanna turns the tide in the debate. <|>
*Change* Melkor is the great enemy, chained, in the opening of the scene. Then he is eventually unchained and partially accepted back as a Valar in good standing at the close of the scene.
"BEATS" 1. The wealth and bliss of Valinor is shown 2. The bankrupt state of Melkor is shown 3. Patience of Manwe and Varda displayed 4. Unrest of Tulkas, Orome, and Ulmo displayed 5. Plea of Melkor 6. Laughter of Tulkas 7. Appeal of Nienna 8. Rage of Tulkas 9. Rebuke of Yavanna 10. Apology of Tulkas 11. Freedom for Melkor 12. Warning from Ulmo
- Nerdanel interrupts Feanor while he is doing a "secret" project. She has come by his forge searching for their sons. A discussion contrasting "Fame vs. Family" begins. Two of their sons interrupt the disscussion. Feanor seemingly gives in and commits to attend his father's celebration to help mend family fences.
<|> Their sons interrupt their discussion/argument and both try to put on their best face. <|>
*Change* Feanor does not want to sacrifice time at his forge to spend time with his family (especially his half-brothers). Nerdanel hopes but is not convinced that he will come to the celebration. He does change his mind and commits to attend the celebration at the end of the scene.
Total pages: 11 pages
Last Edit: Feb 6, 2009 9:22:31 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
We should be 11 to 15 minutes into the film. Just about all of the major players have been shown and plot laid out.
1. Melkor - can he be trusted, is he still evil, revenge? 2. Feanor - Fame and self over family. Neediness for attention from his father; jealous of brothers; a secret work being crafted. 3. Nerdanel - Family first, asking Feanor to take stock of himself and his family and change.
Two central aspects of the story revolve around not being satisfied with what you have and having gross impatience. If you look back through all the key elements and ask what if he/she was content with the situation now or if they would have wait a little longer before they reacted, it would resolve some of the major the problems that surfaced. I will continue next week and post Scene 5 then. Have a good weekend. ;D
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 13, 2009 10:01:54 GMT -5
Sorry about not posting this week until now. Here are the next two scenes.
Aule's Forge: approx 3 pages
- Feanor arrives at Aule's Mansion looking for Curufin. He finds Curufin, Maedhros and Mahtan there in the forge with Aule but also discovers Melkor out by the gate. Melkor tries to engage Feanor in conversation but is not successful. Aule and Mahtan are glad to hear that Feanor is going to the celebration but Feanor is touchy about the subject. Mahtan wants Feanor to take up the duty of mentoring Curufin. Feanor diverts the conversation and alludes to a secret work that he is doing. Feanor sends his sons on ahead of him to the celebration while he goes back to his forge.
<|> The talk about the celebration and his half-brothers drives Feanor back to his forge. <|>
*Change* Feanor was set to attend the feast and to be on time, but now it seems that he may have changed his mind with him going back to the his forge.
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 13, 2009 10:46:22 GMT -5
Again, no "BEAT" for this scence. I really didn't think they were needed because the scence description went into enough detail at the time.
You may have noticed that I haven't posted the outline to the Taniquetil scene. I had it originally a few scenes back but moved it in the hopes that the flow and pacing of the film would improve. I also ended up splitting the Aule's forge scene into two; Aule's mansion and Aule's forge. I thought it was too long as it was, so I ended up with...
5 Taniquetil 6 Aule's Mansion 7 House of Finwe 8 Aule's Forge
I will continue to post the outlines as I originally created them so you can get the feel for the transitions and changes that were made to accomplish the final work.
Last Edit: Feb 13, 2009 11:03:21 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 13, 2009 11:00:22 GMT -5
In the Square: approx. 2 pages
- Nerdanel tries to coordinate efforts for the preparation of the feast. Several of her sons and their cousins are taking it easy in the square. She learns that Feanor has turned back and gone to his forge. That news takes the wind out of her sails.
<|> The news about Feanor going back to his forge<|>
*Change* Hope that everything might go smoothly and that the celebration being the catalyst for reconciliation leaves Nerdanel.
"BEATS" 1. Nerdanel looks for the rest of her sons 2. Cousins suggest where to look for them 3. Sons are found 4. Sons tell her that Feanor has turned back.
Are you going to post anymore of your scenes? Or are we going to rest here until we get the script edited up to this point? I just want you to know I have been following this. It's just that I'm focused on school right now. My new job takes up the majority of my time and I have an hour and 1/2 drive each way so I don't get much done during the week, so my weekend are inundated with home work and I have a seven page paper due by midnight next Saturday on the Messiah. I think I told you already that I like the shortened version of the Prologue, but I want to take a better look at it as soon as I can and see about adding a bit more action to the scenes to hold the audience attention through the voice over. And I still haven't forgotten to provide you with an alternate version of scene II. I will be using your outline of scene II for guidance. I still don't like finding sons and losing them and finding others and losing them and then refinding others. I don't know it seems too chaotic, but we'll work on it together and come up with something we both agree upon. Please know I'm still here with you and I am following your posts. Even if I don't log on I'm still checking in every night before I turn in just to see where we are in the process. Are you still working on a story board? That might help some too. You know seeing what we are thinking. Putting words to a picture.
Yes, I'm going to post more but I've just been a bit lazy and also trying not to get burned and bummed out. I know that "everyone" is busy who is connected to this project and I don't begrudge anyone for taking care of business, but it makes posting kind of dull when you know that you may get only one or two replies on a very, very, very, good day.
You told me about the prologue and I may try tweaking it a bit again next week. Take your time on the alternative version of scene 2.
Ha ;D, I know that you don't like the "rounding up" of the sons of Feanor but it does work to accomplish two things.
1. It introduces the sons a few at a time and I think allows the viewer to get a feel for each one (defines their interest, habits, wanderings, relationships). 2. It shows the chaos aspect of the family that perhaps a lack of their dad's presence has created; also proving Nerdanel's argument for the need of Feanor to be more involved.
I was hoping that it would not come off too cheesy. The age range, as related to men, that I was shooting for was 17 - 21 for Feanor's sons, 35 - 41 (41, 42, 43) for Finwe's sons and 45 - 55 for Finwe, Olwe, etc. Feanor's sons would be independent but still learning and in need of some "Obi-won" mentoring. I didn't want them to come off like an elvish High School Musical but yet have some playfulness that would come from living in a land of bliss. That's the thing, they live in what we would consider "Paradise"...thier own elvish "garden of eden". What daily concerns would you have in such a place? What you your activities be? Would you get bored? Would it all be fun and games? I tired to present a reasonable conflict that might have come up even in the Blessed Realm. You have so much time on your hands that to do anything in a "timely" manner would be a challenge. Time is pressing for the celebration but the only one who seems really concerned is Nerdanel. This is not spelled out in the scene outline but the sense of it is still present in the scene.
If you can spice it up or change it to something less cheesy and convoluted, please do!
I will get the boards up soon. You have to promise to post when I do. Just a "Cool", "That's Nice", or I'll even take a "Hum...you need to work on your skills", just reply. ;D
I will encourage myself and continue, and pray that you all are well in the meantime.
Last Edit: Feb 20, 2009 10:04:25 GMT -5 by Glorfindel
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 20, 2009 10:41:21 GMT -5
Finwe's House: approx 2 pages
- Finwe discusses the strife of his house with his wife. She tries to cheer him up and then their sons inquire about the last preparations for the celebration in the great hall.
<|> Fingolfin's report
*Change* Finwe is gloomy but Indis cheers him up a little.
"BEATS" 1. Sadness of Finwe 2. Why sad? Indis inquires and supports 3. My sons don't get along 4. The feast could provide a chance to change this 5. Hope in Finwe's heart 6. Fingolfin's report and request. 7. Finarfin and others join the group
Total pages: approx 18 pages
Well alright; another scene outline done. Sorry about the whining and complaining in the post before. Just trying to express my, my...feelings ;D
Still within the first half-hour of the film when you finally get to the feast/celebration. Of course there are some scene switching a few scene additions but you should arrive at the first turning point around 35 minutes.
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 20, 2009 10:59:30 GMT -5
The Feast (Celebration): approx 3 pages
- The feast that Finwe commissioned to celebrate the coming of the Eldar (Noldor) to Aman has started. He hopes that this might help close the riff between his sons. Finwe retells the story of the journey of the Eldar to Aman. Feanor arrives late. Thanks are given to the Valar and Fingolfin and Finarfin present gifts to Finwe their father. Feanor belittles the gifts but praises Finwe and his own sons. Nerdanel is very bothered by all of this. Feanor leaves early.
<|> Gifts are given to Finwe <|>
*Change* A time of celebration and hope becomes one of strife and division.
"BEATS" 1. The tale of the journey / where is Feanor? 2. Thanks to the Valar 3. Feanor comes in 4. Gifts given to Finwe 5. Feanor's rudeness 6. Nerdanel's and other attendees reactions 7. Feanor leaves
Post by Glorfindel on Feb 23, 2009 12:28:27 GMT -5
The After Party:
- Some guest have left the celebration all together but many are in and around Finwe's house. Feanor's, Fingolfin's and Finarfin's children are mingling outside and talk about events and discuss rumor.
<|> The Valar leave<|>
*Change*Contentment of Aman is challenged by the desire for new things.
"BEATS" 1. Maglor plays 2. Cousins joke 3. Some are ready to go 4. The others ask them to stay 5. Few questions of going or staying 6. Rumors about men 7. Valar come by 8. Departure