|
Post by Maeglin on May 25, 2005 5:35:45 GMT -5
Good point. Two seconds...
|
|
|
Post by Huinesoron on May 27, 2005 7:45:37 GMT -5
Thank you.
-- oh, since you might need it, and since it'll be a while before I get to the point in FotN to put it in, here's the one scene I've got in the Halls of Mandos:
Scene Unknown: The Halls Of Mandos [Fade in from white to show Fëanor in an empty grey hallway. He is wearing a simple white robe. He looks down at himself, touching his chest with one hand, and then looks around wonderingly, turning slowly in a circle. The camera follows him and ends up looking at his face but not showing the hallway behind him. Note: There is an 'ethereal' quality to this scene] Fëanor: Where am I? Námo: [From behind Fëanor] You are in my Halls. [Fëanor turns around, and the camera turns to look over his shoulder. Námo and Vairë are standing there] Fëanor: Am I... dead? [Námo nods] Fëanor: My sons... I must return to them. Vairë: [Gently] Fëanor... you do not have that choice. Fëanor: What do you mean? Námo: As a result of your actions, you are sentenced to remain here in the Halls of Mandos for five Ages of the world. [Fëanor gasps, and then nods sullenly] Fëanor: [Bitter] I suppose I am to be kept alone, also? Finwë: [From behind Fëanor] Not unless you want to be, my boy. [Fëanor spins around - the camera follows - and sees Finwë and Míriel standing arm-in-arm down the corridor] Finwë: Your mother and I were rather hoping you would stay with us. [Fëanor gives a wordless cry of delight and runs to his parents. They embrace]
~
I don't know how extensively you're covering the Halls - Tolkien never wrote anything about what B&L did there, except in the projected Lay notes, 'The recall of Beren and Huan' and 'Fading of Luthien. Her journey to Mandos. The song of Luthien in Mandos' halls, and the release of Beren.' What we wouldn't give for those last cantos...
But anyway, that's all I'm saying on the subject of how the Halls look.
|
|
|
Post by Maeglin on Jun 19, 2005 9:43:58 GMT -5
SCENE 54
(The foot of the Hirilorn. Slow, sombre, funereal music plays. Beren's bier is carried by Thingol, Celeborn, Beleg and Mablung. Torch-carriers are present. Beren and Huan lie on it. Beren appears completely dead. Luthien rushes up to the train.)
THINGOL: Luthien, my daughter...no. You should not have seen this.
(Luthien ignores him. She walks to the side of the bier and climbs onto it.)
THINGOL: Luthien...
(Luthien embraces Beren, kissing him passionately. His eyes open slightly.)
LUTHIEN: Beren...my husband...await me. Await me beyond the Western Sea.
(Beren inclines his head sightly, before closing his eyes again. Luthien collapses limp upon him. Her eyes also close. Thingol seizes her wrist in anguish.)
VO OF ELROND: Thus the starlight was quenched, and darkness fell even upon Luthien Tinuviel. Her spirit fell down into the darkness, and at last it fled...
VO OF GALADRIEL: ...and her body lay like a flower, cut off, lying yet unwithered on the grass.
VO OF ELROND: But the Lay of Luthien does not end here.
(Flash to Beren, walking through a grey corridor again. Barahir beckons to him.)
BARAHIR: My son...
BEREN: I know you for the phantom that you are. Begone. I go now to the grey shore by the Halls of Mandos, where I will wait.
(Cut to a grey, steely sea, lapping against a beach. No music, only the sound of the water. Beren walks along the beach, alone in the silent land.)
BEREN: I will wait.
|
|
|
Post by Maeglin on Jul 1, 2005 9:37:29 GMT -5
SCENE 55
(Doriath. The bier continues to pass through the woods, and by the torches we see Beren, Luthien, and Huan dead. Sorrowful music plays. Fade to a cloistered courtyard, with many grey pillars. Luthien stands beside a fountain.)
VO OF ELROND: The Halls of Mandos, where those that wait, upon the confines of the world, sit in the shadow of their thought. Here at last Luthien came...
(Namo enters the courtyard.)
NAMO: A sad day is it for Arda when I receive Luthien, daughter of Thingol and Melian, into my halls. But it is I who gain, as so often. You are welcome, Luthien, to bide here until your body is remade; and after that you will dwell forever in the Blessed Realm.
LUTHIEN: My lord...I will not.
NAMO: (frowning) You wish to stay here forever?
LUTHIEN: As long as the man I love, Beren, is here, I will remain in these Halls.
NAMO: (sadly) And when he is not?
LUTHIEN: Then will I follow him.
(Vaire enters opposite them.)
VAIRE: Luthien, you cannot challenge the fate that is woven for you. You are of the Elves. He is one of the Aftercomers, the race of Men. So has it been told. My dear...I am sorry...but it does not lie within your power to change your own story.
LUTHIEN: Lady...I would obey you if I could. But I cannot. I wish for the second gift of Iluvatar.
NAMO: This cannot be.
LUTHIEN: Lord Namo...Lady Vaire...by all that remains unspoilt on this earth...allow me what I desire. Give me mortality, after the manner of Men. Give me death!
(She sings.)
Two kindreds were crafted, of Elves and of Men They were sundered in ages, in feelings, in joys, And the sound of their voices jarred on the wind, And yet had they but one father. The sorrow of Elves and the grief of Men, Both made to dwell upon Arda, On the Kingdom of Earth amid countless stars, Together, yet ever divided...
(Cut to Beren, on the beach.)
VO OF LUTHIEN'S SONG: Together, yet ever divided...
(Beren looks up.)
BEREN: She came. But I cannot linger forever. The great father of all calls me.
(He shudders, and then turns back towards the sea.)
BEREN: And she cannot follow. No...I must...wait...
(Leave of absence-I'll be gone till the 27th of July.)
|
|
|
Post by Huinesoron on Jul 1, 2005 11:06:39 GMT -5
It's very nice. I shall eagerly await your return for more.
|
|
|
Post by Maeglin on Jul 28, 2005 9:28:06 GMT -5
SCENE 56
(The cloisters of Mandos. Namo addresses Finrod, who is mounted on a grey horse. Luthien's song continues in the background, very faintly.)
NAMO: Finrod, you know what you must do. Find Beren. Stop him from departing. And bring him here. I summon him to hear my judgement. I know you will not let down the friend you died to save.
FINROD: (smiling) Of course not, Lord Namo.
(Cut to Beren by the beach. His eyes are wide and staring. He is moving, like a sleepwalker, towards the sea.)
BEREN: She cannot follow me. We must be parted. I...can resist...no longer...
VOICE OF FINROD: Look up here, son of Barahir!
(Beren turns, with a wrench, and gasps. Finrod rides along the cliff edge.)
BEREN: Finrod?
FINROD: Aye. We meet again, even if briefly. Get on my horse!
(Cut to Finrod and Beren riding to dramatic music. Cut to the Halls of Mandos. Beren and Luthien, in grey cloaks, kneel before Namo and Vaire.)
NAMO: I have made my judgement, in accordance with the laws laid down by Eru, the one. Your case has been seen as exceptional. Your heroism and sacrifice have been unsurpassed, and you have given hope to the enemies of the Dark Lord. But it does not lie within my power to alter the immutable nature of life...and death. I can only offer a choice.
VAIRE: Either this-you submit to fate and go your separate ways. Luthien will live in bliss in Valinor with her family, and will soon be reunited with her parents; for their destinies will lead them here shortly. Beren will go beyond the circles of the world.
LUTHIEN: And the other?
NAMO: The other is this, daughter of Thingol. That you renounce your immortality, separate yourself forever from your race, and live-and die-with Beren. As a mortal.
VAIRE: Nor will your mortal span be long. In the blink of an eye, to your mind, you will face the unknown. The Gift of Men. Death.
LUTHIEN: I am not afraid.
(She kisses Beren.)
(Cut to a blissful, but silent, meadow. Luthien and Beren lie beside each other, Beren's arm around her. She is suckling Dior.)
VO OF ELROND: And so the lovers lived in the happiness they had won so dearly; and none dared to intrude on their land, with was called the Land of the Dead That Live. And in time their son, Dior, came to rule at Doriath, when Thingol was slain and Melian departed...
(Cut to Dior enthroned. A messenger enters, bearing the Nauglamir and Silmaril.)
DIOR: What is the meaning of this?
ELVEN MESSENGER: This is the Silmaril your mother wore after King Thingol's passing, sire. It is now yours.
(Dior starts to weep.)
VO OF ELROND: Thus it was known that Luthien had indeed died with Beren; and the Eldar never saw her face again.
(Flashback to Luthien singing in Neldoreth. Credits go up.)
THE END
Editting, proofreading, criticism and suggested cuts now doubly welcome. The 57 scenes, including the Prologue, leave about three minutes per scene in a three hour film, and I need to increase that average length!
|
|
|
Post by Huinesoron on Jul 28, 2005 13:17:26 GMT -5
Curse you! You beat me to finishing! -- I'm /close/, though. Just got to get Alison to finish Alqualonde, and fit together the Rescue of Maedhros.
I'll comment on this later, once I'm actually properly awake (which means Saturday, or possibly a week after that. Sorry)
|
|
|
Post by Maeglin on Aug 6, 2005 4:30:52 GMT -5
I'm off to Scotland till mid-August. It would be nice to come back and see lots of lovely comments and suggested cuts, and loads of art in the art section...
By the way, the mysteriously lost prologue is backed up on my laptop. Praise Varda...or Aule, I suppose...
|
|
|
Post by hiddenvalor on May 8, 2008 8:49:57 GMT -5
I do hope Maeglin is still here somewhere. This was a great script. One thing still gnaws at me though: Luthien has all these funky powers that she can randomly pull out of her pocket at a moment's notice, especially when it comes to bringing Beren back from the dead. It seems too convenient.
Then I remind myself that Luthien is half Maia, and therein lies the problem.
Somewhere, either in Fall of the Noldor or here in Luthien, the scope of a Maia's power needs to be established, which shouldn't be difficult because of Melian, so that Luthien's seemingly random abilities don't seem as...random, I guess...or contrived. At minimum, all that needs to be done is a little blurb of a line about Melian and her power as a Maia, possibly in a reference to the Girdle, and then a reference to Luthien inheriting some of her mother's Maian abilities. Maybe something simliar has already been written, but I have not gotten to hS's version of FotN yet; nonetheless, something to that effect needs to be in Luthien as well just to be safe.
|
|
|
Post by tamitha on May 8, 2008 20:37:51 GMT -5
Yes, Maeglin has returned after a very long absence. I asked hS to please try to find him and he said he had been looking for him, but could find no trace of him. The a few months ago he announced his presence which throughly pleased me. We talked on PM once or twice, but for now he does the same thing I do. He logs on and checks things out and slips out without posting anything. He just logged on a day or so ago. You can go to members and check out individual members profiles and see when they last logged on. Just because don't post doesn't mean we aren't here checking things out. I like to call it lurking in the shadows. Silent partners if you will. If we see something commanding our response and we aren't too busy to drop a line we will. "G" doesn't stress about me anymore. He knows I'm here. He can see when I've logged on even though I didn't post anything. If he gets concerned about my lack of participation he shoots me a PM just make sure I okay. Sometimes he just like "Hey, how are you? Is everything okay?" And I'm like, "Yeah, just busy." It's going to be awhile before we are ready to start trying to edit Maelin's script. With hS being MIA and "G" carrying the whole load for FotN it's slow going. But there is no rush. It's not like this is a commercial project. We have no producers or publishers breathing down our necks. There are no deadlines. It's not like this thing hasn't been lying out here for years already. It will get done whenever it gets done. No pressure. That will take all of the fun out of it.
|
|
|
Post by hiddenvalor on May 8, 2008 21:04:58 GMT -5
Right. *takes a long deep breath* No pressure. No pressure.
|
|
|
Post by Maeglin on May 8, 2008 21:14:01 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm alive, and very appreciative of feedback. Yeah, I don't like SuperLuthien particularly either (unfortunately Tolkien did, verging sometimes I fear on the sentimental). I had a lot more fun with Beren, Finrod and obviously the sons of Feanor...
I think I did the central Morgoth scene OK, but I agree (and so did hS) - the multiple resurrections can try the patience...
|
|
|
Post by hiddenvalor on May 8, 2008 21:24:22 GMT -5
Oh, yes, I loved Celegorm here. You did a good job of playing with his infatuation for Luthien. Well, tamitha's going to be away for a little bit, so you're stuck with me in editing while she's gone. Are you cool with that? I don't bite...really, I don't.
Anyway, I'm glad to see you're alive--alive is always good.
|
|
|
Post by tamitha on May 8, 2008 21:25:19 GMT -5
Hey there buddy. Good to hear from you! Keep hanging in there. We'll see this through eventually.
|
|
|
Post by Maeglin on May 8, 2008 21:27:43 GMT -5
I'm relaxed about time. I'm a fairly young elf, I have a cool sword, amazing talent, and an only slightly incestuous lovelife. What could possibly go wrong?
|
|