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Post by Huinesoron on Nov 28, 2005 6:57:22 GMT -5
This thread is for the editing of the Fall of the Noldor script. Once a scene is 'finalised' by the team editing at any given time, it will be moved over to the 'Edited Version' thread. It may then be brought back by others if they think it needs editing.
Any objections to this style of editing process can also be brought up here. At the moment, I'm posting one scene at a time to this thread, so we can edit them one by one. Whether this will work, I don't know.
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Post by Huinesoron on Nov 28, 2005 6:59:39 GMT -5
[The Ring of Doom, where the Valar are gathered in council. Melkor is knelt on the floor before them, still chained. MOVIE BEGINS] Melkor: … and I beg of you, Manwë my brother, that you hear my plea. For I vow here that if you make me but the least of the free people in Valinor, I will aid you in all your works, and most of all in the healing of the many hurts that I did to the world in those days I now regret so deeply. [Manwë looks uncertain. Rising, Nienna walks over to Melkor and rests a hand on his shoulder. Where his voice was loud, reminiscent of the discord from earlier, hers is soft, yet well projected, filling the space] Nienna: My lord, I ask you to hear his words. Long have I spoken with Melkor while he languished in the depths of my brother's halls. Much he has told me of his reasons for rebellion, and I do believe that he has spoken truly, and that he has indeed repented for bringing War into Arda, and for all his actions resulting therefrom. Tulkas: Ha! And tell me, Nienna, why should we believe him? We all know what he did even before we came down here, and why should he have changed? There's no indication that he has any reasons not to lie about it, just like he lies about everything else. [Nienna turns to face him] Nienna: I have told you, Lord Tulkas, that I have spoken with him at length, and that as far as I can ascertain, what he has told me is the truth. Tulkas: And why should we think your judgement unimpaired? Everyone knows how you felt about him back Up There. [Simultaneously] Irmo: Do not speak thus about my sister! Nessa: Tulkas, dear, don't you think that was a bit rude? [Pause. Tulkas looks around at the other Valar. Ulmo, Nessa and Nienna avoid his gaze, while Melkor is still kneeling, facing Manwë, but all the others glare back at him] Tulkas: [Mumbling] Er, sorry, Nienna… didn't mean it… Nienna: [Sniffing slightly, as if she's about to cry] It's all right, Tulkas… I forgive you. Irmo: Well, I don't! I— Manwë: [Interrupting] Enough. [Everyone is silent. At a gesture from Manwë, Nienna returns to her seat. Manwë looks at Melkor. When Manwë speaks, you can hear the power in his voice, but he does not shout] Manwë: Brother mine, look at me. [Melkor raises his head, expression penitent, and looks Manwë in the eyes. After a few moments, Manwë nods] Manwë: I see no lie in your eyes. I grant you pardon. [Melkor's eyes light up, and he tries to stand, but is hindered by the chain] Manwë: But this limit is set on your freedom: that you must be constrained to dwell within the gates of Valmar. For I see that several of my brethren… [Manwë looks around the circle, pausing especially to look at Tulkas and Ulmo] Manwë: [Continued]… still do not trust you, and thus we will not suffer you to depart beyond our sight and vigilance. Is this understood? [Melkor bows his head again, and nods. Manwë smiles] Manwë: Then I bid you welcome home, brother. Aulë will remove your chains. Aulë: [Looks up from a notebook he had been writing in] Huh? What? Manwë: I said that you will now free Melkor from his chains, for he is freed. Aulë: Is he? Oh, good for him. [He goes back to writing on the notepad, in Tengwar] [Yavanna is sitting beside Aulë, and at Manwë's pleading look, nudges him] Yavanna: Aulë, dear? The chains? Aulë: Oh! Yes, right. [Aulë gets up and walks over to Melkor, pulling a strangely-shaped metal device out of his belt as he goes] Aulë: Right then, old chap, let's get these off… [Fade to black]
~~~~
Go wild, guys
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Post by Maeglin on Nov 28, 2005 10:02:37 GMT -5
A few changes, mainly for clarity's sake-nothing too serious.
Scene 1: Máhanaxar
Melkor: … and I beg of you, Manwë my brother, that you hear my plea. For I vow here that if you make me but the least of the free people in Valinor, I will aid you in all your works, and most of all in the healing of the many hurts that I did to the world in those days I now regret so deeply. [Manwë looks uncertain. Rising, Nienna walks over to Melkor and rests a hand on his shoulder. Where his voice was loud, reminiscent of the discord from earlier, hers is soft, yet well projected, filling the space] Nienna: My lord, I ask you to hear his words. Long have I spoken with Melkor while he languished in the depths of the Halls of Mandos. Much he has told me of his reasons for rebellion, and I do believe that he has spoken truly, and that he has indeed repented for bringing War into Arda. Tulkas: Ha! And tell me, Nienna, why should we believe him? Remember what he did even before we came down here? Why should he have changed? There's no sign that he has any reason not to lie about it, just like he lies about everything else. [Nienna turns to face him] Nienna: I have told you, Lord Tulkas, that I have spoken with him at length, and that as far as I can ascertain, what he has told me is the truth. Tulkas: And why should we think your judgement unimpaired? Everyone knows how you felt about him back Up There. Irmo: Do not speak thus about my sister! Nessa: Tulkas, my husband, don't you think that was a bit rude? [Pause. Tulkas looks around at the other Valar. Ulmo, Nessa and Nienna avoid his gaze, while Melkor is still kneeling, facing Manwë, but all the others glare back at him] Tulkas: [Mumbling] Er, sorry, Nienna… didn't mean it… Nienna: [Sniffing slightly, as if she's about to cry] It's all right, Tulkas… I forgive you. Irmo: Well, I don't! I— Manwë: [Interrupting] Enough. [Everyone is silent. At a gesture from Manwë, Nienna returns to her seat. Manwë looks at Melkor. When Manwë speaks, you can hear the power in his voice, but he does not shout] Manwë: Brother, look at me. [Melkor raises his head, expression penitent, and looks Manwë in the eyes. After a few moments, Manwë nods] Manwë: I see no lie in your eyes. I grant you pardon. [Melkor's eyes light up, and he tries to stand, but is hindered by the chain] Manwë: But this limit is set on your freedom: that you must be constrained to dwell within the gates of the city of Valmar. For I see that several of the Valar... [Manwë looks around the circle, pausing especially to look at Tulkas and Ulmo] Manwë: [Continued]… still do not trust you, and thus we will not suffer you to depart beyond our sight and vigilance. Is this understood? [Melkor bows his head again, and nods. Manwë smiles] Manwë: Then I bid you welcome home, brother. Aulë will remove your chains. Aulë: [Looks up from a notebook he had been writing in] Huh? What? Manwë: I said that you will now free Melkor from his chains, for he is freed. Aulë: Is he? Oh, good for him. [He goes back to writing on the notepad, in Tengwar] [Yavanna is sitting beside Aulë, and at Manwë's pleading look, nudges him] Yavanna: Aulë, dear? The chains? Aulë: Oh! Yes, right. [Aulë gets up and walks over to Melkor, pulling a strangely-shaped metal device out of his belt as he goes] Aulë: Right then, old chap, let's get these off… [Fade to black. Fade back in to…]
I wouldn't mind losing the Aule dialogue at the end as well, but only if you agree, hS. I like it, but I fear it slows things down and I'm not sure this bit should be funny!
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Post by Huinesoron on Nov 28, 2005 12:23:25 GMT -5
Sad to say, this particular characterisation of Aule, while amusing at first writing, is a bit jarring now. I still like him slightly absent-minded, but this much so... well. Perhaps a shortening, rather than a straight cut?
~~~
[Melkor bows his head again, and nods. Manwë smiles] Manwë: Then I bid you welcome home, brother. Aulë will remove your chains [Pause. Yavanna nudges Aulë, who is writing in a notebook] Aulë: One moment. [He finished his sentance with a final flourished Tengwa and gets up. He walks over to Melkor, pulling a strangely-shaped metal device out of his belt as he goes] Aulë: Right, then, let's get these off… [Fade to black]
~~~~
It's slightly shorter than the original version, and includes less of the Bumbling-Fool!Aulë. He's still a bit preoccupied, though, which from what I recall ties in with the later characterisation.
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Post by Maeglin on Nov 28, 2005 13:21:01 GMT -5
Right. So how about this?
Scene 1: Máhanaxar
Melkor: … and I beg of you, Manwë my brother, that you hear my plea. For I vow here that if you make me but the least of the free people in Valinor, I will aid you in all your works, and most of all in the healing of the many hurts that I did to the world in those days I now regret so deeply. [Manwë looks uncertain. Rising, Nienna walks over to Melkor and rests a hand on his shoulder. Where his voice was loud, reminiscent of the discord from earlier, hers is soft, yet well projected, filling the space] Nienna: My lord, I ask you to hear his words. Long have I spoken with Melkor while he languished in the depths of the Halls of Mandos. Much he has told me of his reasons for rebellion, and I do believe that he has spoken truly, and that he has indeed repented for bringing War into Arda. Tulkas: Ha! And tell me, Nienna, why should we believe him? Remember what he did even before we came down here? Why should he have changed? There's no sign that he has any reason not to lie about it, just like he lies about everything else. [Nienna turns to face him] Nienna: I have told you, Lord Tulkas, that I have spoken with him at length, and that as far as I can ascertain, what he has told me is the truth. Tulkas: And why should we think your judgement unimpaired? Everyone knows how you felt about him back Up There. Irmo: Do not speak thus about my sister! Nessa: Tulkas, my husband, don't you think that was a bit rude? [Pause. Tulkas looks around at the other Valar. Ulmo, Nessa and Nienna avoid his gaze, while Melkor is still kneeling, facing Manwë, but all the others glare back at him] Tulkas: [Mumbling] Er, sorry, Nienna… didn't mean it… Nienna: [Sniffing slightly, as if she's about to cry] It's all right, Tulkas… I forgive you. Irmo: Well, I don't! I— Manwë: [Interrupting] Enough. [Everyone is silent. At a gesture from Manwë, Nienna returns to her seat. Manwë looks at Melkor. When Manwë speaks, you can hear the power in his voice, but he does not shout] Manwë: Brother, look at me. [Melkor raises his head, expression penitent, and looks Manwë in the eyes. After a few moments, Manwë nods] Manwë: I see no lie in your eyes. I grant you pardon. [Melkor's eyes light up, and he tries to stand, but is hindered by the chain] Manwë: But this limit is set on your freedom: that you must be constrained to dwell within the gates of the city of Valmar. For I see that several of the Valar... [Manwë looks around the circle, pausing especially to look at Tulkas and Ulmo] Manwë: [Continued]… still do not trust you, and thus we will not suffer you to depart beyond our sight and vigilance. Is this understood? [Melkor bows his head again, and nods. Manwë smiles] Manwë: Then I bid you welcome home, brother. Aulë will remove your chains. [Pause. Yavanna nudges Aulë, who is writing in a notebook] Aulë: One moment. [He finished his sentance with a final flourished Tengwa and gets up. He walks over to Melkor, pulling a strangely-shaped metal device out of his belt as he goes] Aulë: Right, then, let's get these off… [Fade to black]
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Post by Huinesoron on Nov 28, 2005 13:41:09 GMT -5
Works for me.
... except, sigh, I expect we should remove the Nienna/Melkor 'ship? It's hardly Canon, so... a suggested revision, just the one line:
Tulkas: [Mocking] And why should we think your judgement valid, O Nienna Who Weeps For All Broken Things?
Take it, leave it, or rewrite your own. 'tis all one to me.
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Post by Maeglin on Nov 29, 2005 11:45:58 GMT -5
I think it's fine how it is, actually...
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Post by Huinesoron on Nov 30, 2005 5:06:20 GMT -5
Fine how it is is fine, then. We done with this scene, then?
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Post by Maeglin on Dec 12, 2005 8:11:38 GMT -5
Yes, probably, though we should be prepared to shorten it further if we still need cutting when all the scenes are pared down.
I'll be back for more later. Is it alright if I post a Luthien editting thread, neat copy thread, etc etc?
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Post by Huinesoron on Dec 12, 2005 10:06:56 GMT -5
And no doubt we will... as long as we don't just end up with lots of people shouting 'Feanor!' as the entire film, it should be fine.
Yep, running the Luthien editing process along side this one would be a good idea... provided we find an editing team, because I'm really bad at editing.
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Post by Huinesoron on Dec 12, 2005 10:11:51 GMT -5
[Fade in from black]
Scene 2: Fëanor's Forge
[Interior of the forge. Fëanor is working over a furnace, making something from gems] Fëanor: [Muttering] Pearl… opal… marble… sapphire… adamant… right, that's where I got to last time. Now to let it heat a while… where's that sample gone? [Walking briskly over to another table, he pulls a sphere of faintly blue transparent crystal out of a wooden bucket of water and carries it carefully back over to the furnace] Fëanor: Right, now to test it… [To the left of the fire is a strange, press-like device. Fëanor moves to put the sphere into the centre of the device, but there is a loud knock at the door and he drops it. It shatters] Fëanor: Aulë! What am I doing wrong? There's got to be something I can add… [Walking briskly over to a cupboard near the door, he gets out a broom and starts sweeping the shattered crystal into a corner, where we see there is already a large heap of fragments in all sizes and colours. The knock at the door comes again] Fëanor: [Shouting] It's open! Come in! [The door opens and Nerdanel enters. Seeing what he's doing, she shakes her head, amused] Nerdanel: Another mess-up, Fëanor? Fëanor: When one is in my line of work, my dear Nerdanel, one has to put up with the occasional mistakes. Nerdanel: Fëanor… I am in your line of work. I know all about mistakes. Fëanor: Ah, but you work with metals. Crystals tend to be a little more fragile. And these [He indicates the pile of shards] are among the most fragile I've ever made. Which is ironic, really. [Nerdanel obviously has no clue what her husband is working on] Nerdanel: Why is it ironic? Fëanor: Well, when you're trying to make a substance harder than any known to elf, and they all end up shattering as soon as you look at them… well. Nerdanel: [Intrigued] Why are you trying to do that? We've got metals that are easily hard enough – just look at the tilkal Aulë came up with, or the mithril my father made. Why would you want a crystal to do that? [Fëanor shakes his head, obviously irritated] Fëanor: Nerdanel, you don't understand. Metals are all very good, yes, but all they can do is reflect. With gems you can shine light through them, and refract it, and – well, look at this. [He grabs her by the arm and drags her over to a workbench where sheets of parchment are laid out, with sketches all over them. Nerdanel peers down at one particular piece] Nerdanel: Darling… this looks as though you're planning to trap the light of the Trees in a gem. Fëanor: That's precisely what I hope to do. All I need is an unbreakable yet colourless substance to trap it in, which [He looks back at the furnace] is what I'm working on right now. Nerdanel: But why, Fëanor? What would be the purpose? [Over the following speech, Fëanor grows steadily more enthusiastic, moving around the forge, with gestures] Fëanor: Nerdanel, just imagine it, the beauty of a jewel that contained the light of Laurelin and Telperion. It would shine with an inner light, coruscating patterns the like of which have only been seen on the seabed beyond the Calacirya at the Mingling Hour. And forever! No more this waiting twelve hours to be able to add another dozen brush strokes to a painting just as the light is right. Using such a gem, you could have the precise light you require for many hours at a time. And indoors! No more dashing for shelter with easel under arm at the first sign of rain, you could begin and end your project from the comfort of your home! [He pauses for a moment, and Nerdanel opens her mouth to speak, but he continues, almost as though he were not there] Fëanor: And so beautiful would they be, gleaming with the Treeslight. I saw them, you know. [He stops moving, and faces Nerdanel] In a dream, I saw them. Three gems, perfectly shaped, glowing with an inner light of gold and silver. Atop three pillars they sat, of red, blue and clear glass. Even now, when I close my eyes, I see them still. I must capture that beauty, Nerdanel. I must. Nerdanel: And I am sure you shall, Fëanor my love. [Stepping closer, she gives him a kiss on the cheek] But please remember your family, too. It has been days since you left the forge, and your sons are beginning to miss you. [Fëanor looks slightly embarrassed] Fëanor: I'm sorry, Nerdanel, I truly am. It's just that there's so much to do… but I'll come out when I've finished this set, I swear I will. [Nerdanel smiles] Nerdanel: Thank you, Fëanor. That's all I ask. [Nerdanel leaves, closing the door behind her] Fëanor: … unless I have a breakthrough, of course. [Turning away from the door, he walks back to the furnace and picks up a gem from the workbench] Fëanor: Now, let's try amethyst… [Fade to black, snap to…]
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Post by Maeglin on Dec 13, 2005 5:40:46 GMT -5
Here's my first attempt at a cut, though I hope more can go still. I've removed a reference to the crystal needing to be colourless, as the samples Feanor is trying clearly have colours. I've shortened one of Feanor's speeches. And I've given the viewer the quite important information that Feanor has seven sons.
Scene 2: Fëanor's Forge
[Interior of the forge. Fëanor is working over a furnace, making something from gems] Fëanor: [Muttering] Pearl… opal… marble… sapphire… adamant… right, that's where I got to last time. Now to let it heat a while… where's that sample gone? [Walking briskly over to another table, he pulls a sphere of faintly blue transparent crystal out of a wooden bucket of water and carries it carefully back over to the furnace] Fëanor: Right, now to test it… [To the left of the fire is a strange, press-like device. Fëanor moves to put the sphere into the centre of the device, but there is a loud knock at the door and he drops it. It shatters] Fëanor: Aulë! What am I doing wrong? There's got to be something I can add… [Walking briskly over to a cupboard near the door, he gets out a broom and starts sweeping the shattered crystal into a corner, where we see there is already a large heap of fragments in all sizes and colours. The knock at the door comes again] Fëanor: [Shouting] It's open! Come in! [The door opens and Nerdanel enters. Seeing what he's doing, she shakes her head, amused] Nerdanel: Another mess-up, Fëanor? Fëanor: When one is in my line of work, my dear Nerdanel, one has to put up with the occasional mistakes. Nerdanel: Fëanor… I am in your line of work. I know all about mistakes. Fëanor: Ah, but you work with metals. Crystals tend to be a little more fragile. And these [He indicates the pile of shards] are among the most fragile I've ever made. Which is ironic, really. [Nerdanel obviously has no clue what her husband is working on] Nerdanel: Why is it ironic? Fëanor: Well, when you're trying to make a substance harder than any known to elf, and they all end up shattering as soon as you look at them… well. Nerdanel: [Intrigued] Why are you trying to do that? We've got metals that are easily hard enough – just look at the tilkal Aulë came up with, or the mithril my father made. Why would you want a crystal to do that? [Fëanor shakes his head, obviously irritated] Fëanor: Nerdanel, you don't understand. Metals are all very good, yes, but all they can do is reflect. With gems you can shine light through them, and refract it, and – well, look at this. [He grabs her by the arm and drags her over to a workbench where sheets of parchment are laid out, with sketches all over them. Nerdanel peers down at one particular piece] Nerdanel: Darling… this looks as though you're planning to trap the light of the Trees in a gem. Fëanor: That's precisely what I hope to do. All I need is an unbreakable crystal to trap it in, which [He looks back at the furnace] is what I'm working on right now. Nerdanel: But why, Fëanor? What would be the purpose? [Over the following speech, Fëanor grows steadily more enthusiastic, moving around the forge, with gestures] Fëanor: Nerdanel, just imagine it, the beauty of a jewel that contained the light of Laurelin and Telperion. It would shine with an inner light, coruscating patterns the like of which have only been seen on the seabed beyond the Calacirya at the Mingling Hour. And forever! [He pauses for a moment, and Nerdanel opens her mouth to speak, but he continues, almost as though he were not there] Fëanor: And so beautiful would they be, gleaming with the Treeslight. I saw them, you know. [He stops moving, and faces Nerdanel] In a dream, I saw them. Three gems, perfectly shaped, glowing with an inner light of gold and silver. Atop three pillars they sat, of red, blue and clear glass. Even now, when I close my eyes, I see them still. I must capture that beauty, Nerdanel. I must. Nerdanel: And I am sure you shall, Fëanor my love. [Stepping closer, she gives him a kiss on the cheek] But please remember your family, too. It has been days since you left the forge, and your seven sons are beginning to miss you. [Fëanor looks slightly embarrassed] Fëanor: I'm sorry, Nerdanel, I truly am. It's just that there's so much to do… but I'll come out when I've finished this set, I swear I will. [Nerdanel smiles] Nerdanel: Thank you, Fëanor. That's all I ask. [Nerdanel leaves, closing the door behind her] Fëanor: … unless I have a breakthrough, of course. [Turning away from the door, he walks back to the furnace and picks up a gem from the workbench] Fëanor: Now, let's try amethyst… [Fade to black, snap to…]
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Post by Huinesoron on Dec 13, 2005 9:35:27 GMT -5
Another edit, with a few repeated words removed, and a rewrite of that speech of Feanor's so that he doesn't keep repeating himself.
Scene 2: Fëanor's Forge
[Interior of the forge. Fëanor is working over a furnace, making something from gems] Fëanor: [Muttering] Pearl… opal… marble… sapphire… adamant… that's where I got to last time. Now to let it heat a while… where's that sample gone? [Walking briskly over to another table, he pulls a sphere of faintly blue transparent crystal out of a wooden bucket of water and carries it carefully back over to the furnace] Fëanor: Right, now to test it… [To the left of the fire is a strange, press-like device. Fëanor moves to put the sphere into the centre of the device, but there is a loud knock at the door and he drops it. It shatters] Fëanor: Aulë! What am I doing wrong? There's got to be something I can add… [Walking briskly over to a cupboard near the door, he gets out a broom and starts sweeping the shattered crystal into a corner, where we see there is already a large heap of fragments in all sizes and colours. The knock at the door comes again] Fëanor: [Shouting] It's open! Come in! [The door opens and Nerdanel enters. Seeing what he's doing, she shakes her head, amused] Nerdanel: Another mess-up, Fëanor? Fëanor: When one is in my line of work, my dear Nerdanel, one has to put up with the occasional mistakes. Nerdanel: Fëanor… /I/ am in your line of work. I know all about mistakes. Fëanor: Ah, but you work with metals. Crystals tend to be a little more fragile. And these [He indicates the pile of shards] are among the most fragile I've ever made. [He sighs] Which is ironic, really. [Nerdanel obviously has no clue what her husband is working on] Nerdanel: Why is it ironic? Fëanor: [Shrugs] When you're trying to make a substance harder than any known to elf, and they all end up shattering as soon as you look at them… well. Nerdanel: [Intrigued] Why are you trying to do that? We've got metals that are easily hard enough – just look at the tilkal Aulë came up with, or the mithril my father made. Why would you want a crystal to do that? [Fëanor shakes his head, obviously irritated] Fëanor: Nerdanel, you don't understand. Metals are all very good, yes, but all they can do is /reflect/. With gems you can shine light through them, and refract it, and – well, look at this. [He grabs her by the arm and drags her over to a workbench where sheets of parchment are laid out, with sketches all over them. Nerdanel peers down at one particular piece] Nerdanel: Darling… this looks as though you're planning to trap the light of the Trees in a gem. Fëanor: That's /precisely/ what I hope to do. All I need is an unbreakable crystal to trap it in, which [He looks back at the furnace] is what I'm working on right now. Nerdanel: But why, Fëanor? What would be the purpose? [Over the following speech, Fëanor grows steadily more enthusiastic, moving around the forge, with gestures] Fëanor: Nerdanel, just imagine it, the beauty of a jewel that glowed with the mingled light of Laurelin and Telperion! It would light a room with coruscating patterns like those on the seabed beyond the Pass of Light, ever changing and yet enduring forever! [He stops and lifts a hand as if reaching out to something unseen, and Nerdanel opens her mouth to speak, but he turns and looks at her, hand dropping again to his side] I saw them, you know, in a dream or a vision. Three gems, perfectly shaped, flooding my mind with a light of gold and silver. Atop three pillars they sat, of red, blue and clear glass. Even now, when I close my eyes, I see them still. I must capture that beauty, Nerdanel. I must. Nerdanel: And I am sure you shall, Fëanor my love. [Stepping closer, she gives him a kiss on the cheek] But please remember your family, too. It has been days since you left the forge, and your seven sons are beginning to miss you. [Fëanor looks slightly embarrassed] Fëanor: I'm sorry, Nerdanel, I truly am. It's just that there's so much to do… but I'll come out when I've finished this set, I swear I will. [Nerdanel smiles] Nerdanel: Thank you, Fëanor. That's all I ask. [Nerdanel leaves, closing the door behind her] Fëanor: … unless I have a breakthrough, of course. [Turning away from the door, he walks back to the furnace and picks up a gem from the workbench] Fëanor: Now, let's try amethyst… [Fade to black, snap to…]
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Post by Maeglin on Dec 14, 2005 4:33:29 GMT -5
Excellent. That'll do nicely.
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Post by Huinesoron on Dec 15, 2005 11:33:13 GMT -5
Two scenes at once, because #3 is so short, and they're tied together so closely.
~
Scene 3: Streets of Tirion
[Fëanor stalks up a wide stair. His clothes are slightly singed. Nerdanel is running along behind him] Fëanor: And I was /so close/. I was /sure/ I had it right, and then bang! It all goes up in my face. Why do I even bother? Nerdanel: I'm sure you'll get it sooner or later. But for now, do you think you could calm down? You don't want to act like this in front of your father… Fëanor: No, and if it was just him, I'd gladly blow up all my projects, ever, to get here on time. But Fingolfin and Finarfin are going to be there, and worse – their mother. Nerdanel: Fëanor, you really should make an effort to be nice to Indis… Fëanor: Why? Because she married my father? Just because she /somehow/ managed to get Manwë to break tradition and let Father remarry after Mother died, I don't have to treat her like she's related to me. Nerdanel: I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying you should at least be civil to her while you're in her house. [Fëanor sighs] Fëanor: All right. I'll try. Nerdanel: And her sons, too? They are your half-brothers… Fëanor: As long as they don't try to get between me and Father, I will treat them with all the respect they deserve as Princes of the Noldor. [They reach the top of the stair, and Fëanor sees Finwë at the other end of a stone-paved walkway, standing alone in front of a door, obviously waiting] Fëanor: Father! [Fëanor runs off down the walkway and gives his father an energetic hug. Nerdanel watches this from the top of the stair] Nerdanel: [To herself] Somehow, I don't find that very encouraging. [Snap to…]
Scene 4: Finwë's House in Tirion
[Finwë and Fëanor enter side by side, Nerdanel a little behind them. Fëanor is talking animatedly] Fëanor: … so I tried adding emerald, and that just made it weaker, and when I added ruby it just split up into little granules that I couldn't persuade to come back together, but /then/ I tried— [Fëanor sees Indis, Fingolfin and Finarfin on the other side of the room, talking to each other, and freezes. Finwë also stops and turns to look at him. Nerdanel comes up on Fëanor's other side and whispers in his ear] Nerdanel: [Whispering] Be nice, remember. [Fëanor gives a curt nod, and walks across the room to Indis and her sons] Fëanor: Hello Indis… Fingolfin… Finarfin. Finarfin: Oh, hello, Fëanor. How's the project coming? [Fëanor glares at Finarfin suspiciously, but it looks like the youngest son of Finwë is being perfectly serious] Fëanor: Fine. [Finarfin waits for him to continue, but he does not. Fingolfin breaks the silence] Fingolfin: So, Fëanor, we were talking about how well your Maedhros seems to get on with my own son, Fingon. [Fëanor is startled] Fëanor: Does he? Fingolfin: Oh, yes. Didn't he mention this to you? Fingon talks about him all the time. [Fëanor avoids Fingolfin's gaze] Fëanor: He, ah, may have said something… I've been a bit busy in the forge, you know how it is. Fingolfin: Ah, yes, of course. [There is a moment of uncomfortable silence. Finwë comes over with Nerdanel] Finwë: Ah, boys. It's so nice to see you all getting on like this. Now, what are we talking about, hm? Fëanor: [Curtly] We aren't. [Finwë frowns slightly. From behind Finwë, Nerdanel gives Fëanor a Look. Fingolfin tries to defuse the situation] Fingolfin: What my brother means is that we had just finished talking, and that… that… er… [He trails off as the full force of Fëanor's glare is trained on him] Fëanor: [Strained voice] /No one/ speaks for me. Fingolfin: I'm sorry, br— [Fëanor interrupts him] Fëanor: And you are /not/ my brother. [Turning on his heel, Fëanor stalks towards the door. As he is about to leave, his father calls out] Finwë: Fëanor! [Fëanor stops in the doorway, but does not turn around] Fëanor: I will be in my forge. There is much for me to do. Goodbye, father. I hope to see you again… in better company. [Fëanor stalks out of the door, slamming it behind him. Slam cut to…]
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